glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
