How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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