For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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