Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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