girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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