what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize