he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
