so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
