There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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