i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I bet he comes in French.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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