actually, I'm a sock model
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
