We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
