last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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