Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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