i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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