is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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