Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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