Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
