You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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