But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Vodka?
Forever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
