Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
