Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
