In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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