ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
