yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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