This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How does one acquire holy water?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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