so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I party with great urgency now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
