Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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