Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
