Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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