In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
