i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
