there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
