I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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