the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
