and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
