i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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