i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
