I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
