I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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