This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
