if you like me you must not know who I am
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
