You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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