he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
