is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
