We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
