so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
