fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
there was a trapeze. enough said
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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