Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
