I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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