we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize