i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
