My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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