A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
