Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize