Pappa wants mamma naked
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
