The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
