you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
