We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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