theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
