OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
