he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
