He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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