May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Drunk is not a location!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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